Being authentic
The meaning of being authentic to me is be my original self. Most people would say it is good to be yourself. It depicts honesty. It is easier to get to know somebody who is honest and do not hide in the bushes. It is easier to interact with people who are honest and show their true self in the presence of others.
However, in reality, society is made up of different people and values. People in society wear different hats everyday. Therefore, due to that fact that society shapes us, we inevitably at times have to be behave differently towards other people. This may be something difficult for us to do as it goes against our religious believes or principles. However, the secular world and the religious world at times do not see eye to eye. If we are to be honest with people, they may not like what they see or here. They may start to judge us. They may even backstab us. Spread rumours about us that are not true.
So I have encountered people telling me that is better not to be so open and honest. The question then is who should we be open and honest with. Well, we have to be selective. There will be people who appreciate who we are and others that will treat our friendship with them as superficial. That is not to say that those close to us may not betray us one day. One reason of betrayal can be due to financial reasons.
I like being authentic with people. However many a times due to me being authentic, I have lost friends. Some do not want to get to know me but I have also made very good friends. That is not to say that I am authentic to everybody. I do select those that I want to be open with and those that I do not want to be open with. It is a matter of surviving in this cruel world. I believe the lord would not judge me by my actions as he gave us the power to make choices and because of his love for us, he would respect the choices that we make. The consequences that the choices that we make is another matter. Therefore it is better to pray before we make a choice rather than after making the choice. I do know that the person I will be authentic too is my future partner and that if she accepts and loves me for whom I am then I will marry her.
Being encouraging
Being encouraging to people who needs encourage in life in many matters is important. To encourage somebody in need of help is great, however, we must not have any hidden agenda in our encouragement in helping people to cope with life, to be happy, to do better in life and the list goes on.
Why do I say we must not have any hidden agenda. Well, it is because encouragement must come from the heart. We cannot aspect any returns. Once we aspect something in return then we will become disappointed. There is not true honesty in our encouragement of others because we will also have an objective. Friendships may be lost. Same thing goes when you love someone wholeheartedly. Sometimes the person you love may not love you back but even though you know the fact that she may not love you back and you still encourage her so that she can be happy, then I feel that is true love.
Being supportive
Being supportive and being encouraging is more or less the same. So whatever I said about being encouraging also applies to being supportive. However, there is a question to ask. Would you support a friend in an activity that you know is not ethical?
For example : I did a survey on your people’s attitudes on Romance. I went round collecting data and asking them questions. The work I did was on my own effort. However, I had a friend in class who had to undertake the same project as me. He decided to call me at the last hour to give me the names and contacts of my interviewees in order to interview them. I do know that it is wrong to divulge personal information because he told me that he was having problems with his work and did not have the time to do the project. Well, I told him I can’t give him their contact numbers but can show him the information that I had collected. Told him that I do not support what he is doing but at the same time giving him the benefit of the doubt. Therefore I decided to help him. Therefore I formed a balance of helping a friend and at the same time not condoning what he was doing.
We may face difficult decisions time to time. It can be very painful when we have to be cruel to be kind but sometimes we have to do what is necessary, friend or foe. It is this times that we have to call on God t give strength to do what we have to do and help us to over any negative outcomes in the like of our decisions.
Being forgiving
Being able to forgive somebody provides food for our souls. However, it is easier said than done. There are some who can forgive totally, some who can forgive but cannot forget and some who cannot forgive at all. The level of hurt that we face from someone is also a deciding factor in how we are going to forgive a person.
God is the only one that can forgive totally. Does that mean we cannot do so? Actually we can but to do that is very difficult and if we really can do it than it shows that we have achieved a certain high standard in our spiritual life.
Most of the time if the hurt is severe, we forgive but we do not forget. After all we are humans, we are not perfect. We have to ask Jesus the grace to forgive someone totally. Only with his help and time can wounds be healed.
For those that cannot forgive at all, well if they do not learn how to forgive then their soul will just wither and die. They will always live with hatred in their heart. This will lead to anger and anger can destroy them.
Being sincere & Being Trustworty
Being sincere is a very important. It makes us trustworthy. We gain a lot of people’s trust and friendship. Most of the time we view being sincere as a righteous value however there are times that being sincere back fires on us.
For example : Sometimes we are too honest to our spouses. We may tell our spouse that he/she is not the first person that we had slept with. We trust them to accept it. Some may, some may not. Another scenario I can think of is when I told my ex that I had been with a Malay girl and this cause a friction between us whenever I wanted to eat Malay food. She accused me of still having feelings for her whereby it has been ages since I last saw her. My dad once told me that I could not tell everything to my future wife, however I disagree with him on this matter. I still believe in being sincere and honest to her. Another example, is went we have to report a wrong doing done by a collogue. He or she might be a close friend of yours. Friendship may be broken if you risk reporting on your friend’s wrong doing. So do you do it? Sometimes we have do if it is our duty.
Therefore being sincere can be one of the hardest things to accomplish in life. We need the lord guidance to guide us in our decisions and also to help us to overcome any mis - happenings due to our actions. Life isn’t fair. At one time society asks us to be sincere and on the other hand it can be a double edge sword.
Even though it is tough being sincere, I still think that being sincere is very important in one’s life. It makes us who we are.
Being humble
Being humble is another important virtue. Braging can be a real turn off. Some people may not like it. Jealousy may set in. For example, some children are born with the silver spoon. They may wear the latest fashion. Being young, it may be natural to show them off. However, these actions may cause jealousy among other students, especially those that cannot afford it. They may resort to fights and even stealing. If not corrected, showing off may be the catalyst for breeding would be gangsters and thieves!!!
Being humble also means reaching out to the less fortunate. We can do that by donating some unwanted goods like old watches, clothes and even money. Doing missionary work is also another way. I have always felt that our youths of today need to do missionary work and live among the poor. Only then would they know how precious life is.
Personally I am not a rich person. I do not travel much as there are financial constraints in my family. I admit I may be a bit spend rift and like to eat good food which may cost a lot. But that does not mean I am a bragger. I still like my favourite fried kway teow, wanton mee, hokkien mee and chay chap. I would like to do missionary work and frankly I do not mind giving up what I have to live among the poor, help them and write about their plight so that the world will know how they are suffering and yet can still smile. People living in 1st class countries have everything but they cannot smile. So WHAT is there to show off actually.
Being respectful
Well, there is really nothing much to say about respectful because it is something that should be in us. Our up bringing is very important. Parents must teach their children from young about respect and the respect of the elders. They cannot always give in to their children. Something is very wrong when you see a child shouting back at their parents and their parents just keep quite about it. Surprise? I have seen it in my own eyes.
Parents must also treat their children with respect. Punishment and reward needs to be administrated properly. If a parent punish their children to harshly to a state where it constitutes to child abuse then it is very bad. The children will grow up resenting their parents or worst still become violent people themselves because they may thing that abusing a person is a norm. If you treat your child with respect, they would most likely grow up loving you even more!!! Rewards can be used when a child performs a good deed or is obedient to his/her parents but parents also need to instill into them that they cannot take the reward for granted.
When it comes to religion, respect for the lord also needs to be taught from young. They need to be taught how to seat properly in church, dress properly in church and not run around. Sadly, these days I see parents allowing their children to draw in church, drink whenever they are thirsty and run around. In my younger days, my parents had to force me to seat quite in church and pay attention to the sermon. If I talk and looked distracted in church, my dad gave me a look that striked fear in me.
Children need to be taught the lords words in a simpler way so that they can understand and appreciate the lords teachings better. In this way, they can show more respect to the lord.
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